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Thursday

Six ways to make people like you





A simple way to make a good
impression.

The expression one wears on one's face if far more important than the
clothes one wears on one's back.

Actions speak louder than
words, and a smile says, " I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to
see you."

You must have a good time
meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.

You don't feel like smiling?

Then what?

Two things.

First, force yourself to smile.

If you are alone, force
yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing.

Act as if you were already
happy, and that will tend to make you happy.

"Action seems to follow
feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating
the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can
indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not." -William James.

Happiness doesn't depend on
outward conditions.

It depends on inner conditions.

It isn't what you have or who
you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or
unhappy.

It is what you think about it.
"There is nothing either good or bad," said Shakespeare, "but thinking makes it so."

Your smile is a messenger of
your good will.

Your smile brightens the lives
of all who see it.

To someone who has seen a dozen
people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the
sun breaking through the clouds.




Principle 2: Smile.


If you don't do this, you are
headed for trouble

The average person is more interested in his or her own name than all
the other names on earth put together.

Remember that name and call it
easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment.

But forget it or misspell
it-and you have place yourself at a sharp disadvantage.

Whenever you meet a new
acquaintance, find out his or her complete name and some facts about
his or her family, business or political opinions.

Fix all these facts well in
mind as part of the picture, and the next time you meet that person,
even if it was a year later, you will be able to shake hands, inquire
after the family, and ask about the hollyhocks in the backyard.

Sometimes it is difficult to
remember a name, particularly if it is hard to pronounce.

Rather than even try to learn
it, many people ignore it or call the person by an easy nickname.

Most people don't remember
names, for the simple reason that they don't take the time and energy
necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their
minds.

If you don't hear the name
distinctly say excuse me I didn't get your name clearly.

Then, if it is an unusual name,
ask how it is spelled.

Use the person's name several
times in the conversation; try to associate it in your mind with the
person's features, expression and general appearance.

Then, when you are alone write
the name down on a piece of paper, look at it, and concentrate on it,
fix it securely in your mind, in this way you will gain an eye
impression of the name as well as an ear impression.




Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that
person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.


An easy way to become a good
conversationalist

Listen intently; listen because you are genuinely interested.

That kind of listening is one
of the highest compliments we can pay anyone.

The chronic kicker, even the
most violent critic, will frequently soften and be subdued in the
presence of a patient, sympathetic listener-a listener who will be
silent with the irate fault-finger dilates like a king cobra and spews
the poison out of his system.

Be more eager to hear what a
person has to say then even they are to tell it.

Many people prefer good
listeners to good talkers, but the ability to listen seems rarer than
almost any other good trait.

All we want when we are in
trouble is a friendly, sympathetic listener to unburden yourself.

That is frequently all the
irritated customer wants, and the dissat isfied employee or the hurt
friend.

If you want to know how to make
people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you,
here is the recipe: Never listen to anyone for long.

Talk incessantly about
yourself.

If you have an idea while the
other person is talking, don't wait for him or her to finish: bust
right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence.

If you aspire to be a good
conversationalist, be an attentive
listener
.

To be interesting, be
interested.

Ask questions that other
persons will enjoy answering.

Encourage them to talk about
themselves and their accomplishments.




Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to
talk about themselves.. .


How to interest people

The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or
she treasures most.

Make an effort to find out what
interests the person then get them talking about it.

Talking in terms of the other
person's interests pays off for both parties.

When asked what reward he got
from it, Mr. Herzig responded that he not only received a different
reward from each person but that in general the reward had been an
enlargement of his life each time he spoke to someone.




Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person's
interests.


How to make people like you
instantly.

Ask yourself " What is there about him or her that I can honestly
admire?"

That is sometimes a hard
question to answer, especially with strangers.

You want approval of those with
whom you come in contact.

You want recognition of your
true worth.

You want a feeling that your
are important in our little world.

You don't want to listen to
cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation.

So let's obey the Golden Rule, and give
unto others what we would have others give unto us.

How?

When?

Where?

The answer is all the time,
everywhere.

Use little phrases such as "I'm
sorry to trouble you, ___." "Would you please ___?" "Won't you please?"
"Would you mind?" "Thank you."

The unvarnished truth is that
almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some
way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some
subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it
sincerely.

Talk to people about themselves
and they will listen for hours.




Principle 6: Make the other person feel important-and
do it sincerely.


In a Nutshell: Six ways to make people like you

Become genuinely interested in
other people.

Smile.

Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most
important sound in any language.

Be a good listener.

Encourage others to talk about
themselves. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

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